Moving Forward

I've concocted another website that will (hopefully) be full of laughter but also reality. Cancer is such a common disease in this world, but it feels like no one ever tells you what to expect once you've won the battle... So I will do my best to detail the doings of the Chase home post-cancer. Beyond the fact that it is such a relief to see that mom is in remission, life is not quite back to normal (bear in mind I am using the word normal veryyy loosely)... But we are so blessed and very thankful to have such ridiculously fun stories to tell, all of which involve the heart and soul of our family-- Mom! Should you care to read on with our lives, please set your web browsers to:

http://www.daniellechasetwo.blogspot.com

REMISSION

As of last Wednesday my mom is CANCER FREE. No analogy will do this feeling justice, so you will just have to smile and thank God for sparing my mom for a couple more decades- it is beyond appreciated. It is kind of like thinking you bombed a test and getting back, like, a 98%. But only it is way better than that too...

I am back at school and going home as often as I can to visit with the family. And while the weekends go way too fast, it is always refreshing to pull in the drive way and think, my mom does not have Cancer.

Tomorrow she will get her stomach port out because it will no longer be of service to her!!! She will however, keep her chest port in for a while still- it is standard protocol.

I do have more to say on this but I absolutely must go to bed-- so think of this as a brief intermission! Goodnight!

Summer's End

My deepest apologies for keeping everyone waiting in the wings for an update. I won't drone on and on about why I haven't been on here but to put it simply: life. Heading back to college has caused life to become rather hectic...

I do have a lot to say, of course, in relevance to the last few weeks of being home for summer with mom. To be specific the last two weeks of summer vaca brought about band camp, which I helped work. You might be wondering why this has anything to do with mom. Well, because I was off to working camp with my dad and the boys were busy working their fast food jobs, mom was left to own devices during the day. Here is where I must back track in order to make the punch line of this story effective... Bob from Bradford (dad's college roommate and champion corn-holer, I've mentioned him before)was up at our house for the duration of band camp due to the fact that Bob is the master of the drums. Bob drives a Ford pick up truck and because of all the cars already in our driveway, dad had Bob park in my Uncle's drive way (which is conveniently across the street). In an effort to preserve gas, dad and Bob drove to camp together in the mornings, which left Bob's truck in the drive way across the street. Well, I come home one day to find mom on the phone with my aunt (the one who lives across the street, who also happens to be on vacation with my Uncle) informing her that someone MAY be breaking into their house because there is a large pick up truck in the drive way... I immediately inform her to hold the horn, that is NOT an intruders truck, but rather Bob from Bradford's vehicle. We will chalk this up to chemo-brain. Gotta love her for that, keeping watch on the neighborhood!

Since my last entry I took mom down to the 'Burgh for her double chemo treatment. This was an experience in and of itself. We got up at 4:15AM to truck down the highway for her 8AM appointment. I feel bad that I even groaned about having to drive at such an ungodly hour when mom had to not only ride in the car before the crack of dawn, but then also get chemo treatment at the end of the long drive. While the "girl's trip" was due to unfortunate circumstances (Cancer), we had a wonderful time. I got to meet Debbie & Debbie, mom's chemo-nurses who are absolutely stellar. Mom and I also had the chance to meet other chemo patients, which was almost refreshing to hear their stories because it reminded not only me, but certainly mom too, that she is not alone in her fight with Cancer. These women were of all different walks of life, sizes, races and ages yet they all had one thing in common. My mom had the most invasive and elaborate chemo plan out of all of them and I must say, she was certainly the most beautiful one there. She looked too cute in her pink sweat suit!

After the first treatment was over we headed out of the hospital and on to the Bed & Breakfast where we stayed the night. However, before turning in for the night we did go to dinner at Chipolte and grab some ice cream after! Actually on our way to dinner we were standing at a busy crosswalk in down town Pittsburgh where we smelled potentially the most putrid smell EVER. Mom and I quickly realized that this scent was coming from this guy who was obviously financially unfortunate. Over dinner we were talking about this smelly man and it made us wonder, what if that man was God? Its like that song, "What if God was one of us?" I guess where I am going with this is, while we have been through a very difficult stretch of time, you know what, other people are far less fortunate. And my family and I are so blessed because we have each other as well as a strong faith in God. So who knows, God may have been that stinky guy in the cross walk, or he may not have been but the guy crossed paths with mom and I for a reason and gave us some perspective. When you have family and faith, you have everything you need.

Later that night mom and I snacked on some treats in our room while watching The Middle a new series on ABC, which I totally recommend you watch, by the way. We had a lot of fun laying in bed giggling and just getting the opportunity to enjoy each others company.

The next morning we went back to the hospital for some more chemo. I gotta say, my mom is so incredibly strong and I wish I had the words to describe how much I admire her. Although, I am glad that as far as I know, I did not inherit her snoring, I hope I got some of her strength. After her second treatment of the double-whammy sequence, we zipped home.

A few days after that, I was off to school and lets just say that saying bye to my family does not get an easier each year! I am really going to miss seeing mom and dad and even Zach and Andrew (and obviously Sidney and Lilly)everyday, but it won't be long before Christmas break is right around the corner and of course, home is only a two hour drive away for weekend visits!

While this summer was not the easiest, it was easily the summer I grew up the most.

Mom only has three more treatments left and she is DONE!!! September 15th, mark it on your calendars!!! See ya, Cancer!!!

Some Change Can Do Ya' Good

We rearranged the living room. One might think this to be a simple task but obviously that was NOT the case or I would not feel the need to write about it. Most normal humans rearrange their living rooms all of the time; however, we do NOT, simply because (and this is according to my father and brothers) the living room is set up for optimum viewing & gaming pleasure that is also aesthetically “perfect.”

Of course this is extremely debatable, especially from my mother’s standpoint; after all, she has been staring at this living room day in and day out since March. It was time for a change. But anyone who knows my father knows that change is not his strong suit. Once something works, he does not like to vary his routine- like, EVER.
But too bad for the boys, mom & I began pushing; shoving, dragging and heaving our furniture around the living room looking for just the right lay out.

Enter father. Let’s just say, he was not pleased to see we had moved his “thrown” from its pivotal vantage point. He then began to complain that we absolutely CANNOT move his 52” HD television from the corner in which it stood because: 1.) the Bose surround sound is wired according to the current floor plan, 2.) the HD output wire is not to be unplugged by anyone but a professional (which, FYI, I think dad made that part up because he really had no desire to move the TV) and 3.) the stupid X-Box (which also I don’t understand why we couldn’t move that either… but whateverrrr!!!)

So we ended up revamping the living room, coming up with a new lay out that left the almighty television in its current perch but it also gives mom a little variance in her couch-laying-views. The boys do not approve of the rearranged space because they claim it intrudes their ability to play X-Box up close & personal. Because yes, although our television is just shy of being the same width as my height, Zach and Andrew (and Father) must sit approximately 2 inches from the screen and scream into their nerdy little headsets on X-Box live.

The good news here is, that mom and I got what we wanted but MORE IMPORTANTLY, mom is feeling well enough to help shove our furniture around & cause a little ruckus in the house. Sure feels good.

What's Up, Cancerrr??? You are pretty much HOMELESS

During mom’s week off from chemo she was very active! She spent time with friends at lunch, made a cameo appearance in her hip-hop class, as well as walked 2 miles for FUN! It was great to see her getting out and about.

However, this week brought about a double whammy chemo dosage that will inevitably wear her out. Chemo is tricky that way, rather than developing a tolerance to the treatments, she will continually get sicker from her dose.

But here is the GOOD NEWS: she IS beating Cancer. Her CT Scan came back WITHOUT any Cancerous spots. Those spots that were there were the reason for chemotherapy post-surgery. The doctor did say she has a cyst on her liver, but not to be concerned about that cyst because apparently six out of ten women have them.

In even more GOOD NEWS— studies show that women who’s CA125 numbers drop within the average range (30 & below) by their third chemo treatment have better chances of survival. Um, FYI, mom was BELOW average BEFORE her third cycle. What’s up now, Cancer?!

Needless to say this was EXTREMELY encouraging, even the doctor (who happens to be an avid Pittsburgh Pens fan) is excited!

Its been a long road and we aren’t quite home yet, but we are certainly getting closer to our destination and IT FEELS GREAT!

Which one of you is Sue?

A pair of mom’s work friends brought over lunch. One of her colleagues brought her three boys with her, who were not only adorable but absolutely hysterical.

Apparently, on the ride over to our house Friend A explained to her boys, ‘Sue is taking medicine that makes her lose her hair so she may be wearing a scarf.' And this explanation to three young guys (probably between the ages of 8 and 10) makes perfect sense; after all, Friend A wanted her boys to understand the situation before hand to avoid any strange reactions on their part.

Well upon entering our house one of these lil’ guys belts out, “Which one of you is Sue?” Mom raises her hand in response. Child who absolutely amuses me replies, “Oh yah! I didn’t recognize you with your wig on!”

Friend A blushes and apologizes, but in reality there is no need for an apology because between Friend A and her entertaining offspring as well as Friend B who is rather comical herself, paired with a delicious lunch, the afternoon was absolutely enjoyable!

Sick Of Being Sick

Imagine the worst flu you have ever experienced: explosive diarrhea, projectile vomiting, aching body, headaches, fever, chills and all together discomfort. But what’s the one thing that helps you pull through the twenty four to forty eight hours you feel terrible? Well, that this feeling will pass. Now pretend that you have the flu and all of these horrible feelings persist for months and you’ll have a VAGUE idea of what chemo therapy does to my mom.

Here’s the deal, people, chemo therapy is invasive and it does nasty things to a person. Pair with that emotional distress, weight loss, hair loss, and the inability to taste anything—it gets to be frustrating.

You see, some people don’t understand the enveloping side effects of aggressive chemo-therapy which my mom is currently enduring. Rather, most people are fooled by her smiling face, her wig that could easily be mistaken for her real hair and her positive attitude. But just because you see her with her ‘game face’ on does not mean that she is perfectly fine.

I suppose that is what is most frustrating to me. Some people are extremely insensitive to her current condition when in reality she is fighting through discomfort each and every day. And it gets exhausting hearing people belittle her battle. I hate to sound brash but the bottom line is CANCER IS NOT THE FLIPPING FLU. CANCER IS SERIOUS. I understand that some people see the ‘game face’ and are fooled. But I mean really, this woman is fighting for her life. She used to work all day, make dinner, go to hip-hop and then clean. Now she walks down the stairs and is exhausted because chemo is killing her good cells and her bad cells. I guess the reason for this tangent is if you cannot understand what it is she is going through each and every day then perhaps you should think for a few seconds about what one day in her shoes must be like. She can’t do everything she used to be able to do because she is receiving a CRAP TON OF CHEMO!!!

The bottom line is, whether you are fooled or not by her beautiful face, you’ve got to understand that she is sick of being sick—so of course she is going to tell you she feels okay when she sees you, why would she tell you, “I am miserably uncomfortable, but thanks for asking.”

If you ask me, I think shooting a quick prayer to the Big Guy above would be the most helpful. Ask him to continue to give her strength when the chemo is wearing her down. And most importantly, please try to remember that mom is stronger than 10 Arnold Schwarzenegger’s when it comes to life—so she WILL BEAT THIS. But bear in mind, this ain’t no flu she has… it is Cancer. It is kind of a big deal. While most people have 4-6 installments of chemo, mom is going to have a total of 19; therefore, it is not so simple for her to pull herself together. 10 down, 9 to go!

Cultivating Colin

As oxymoronic as this may sound— part of life is death. This past Saturday the world bid farewell to one of the nicest men I’ve ever had the opportunity to know, Colin Feeney. Colin is my Uncle Scott’s father. Being that Scott is married into the Chase family, I have no actual blood relation to Colin; although one would never know it judging by interaction.

Throughout my college softball career, we took many spring break training trips spanning anywhere in the United States from California to Florida. Despite the long distance from home, Colin always showed up for spring training with a smile on his face and his brother Gerry in tow. I didn’t know it this past February, but that was the last spring break any of us would share. His support did not only extend to sunshiny states, though. Once my team would retreat back to the snowy North for spring, Colin was known to pop in at a game and even treat me to dinner afterwards.

Colin, I know you are smiling down on us and you probably think you are the lucky one, being in Heaven and all. But in reality, I was the lucky one for having had a chance to cross paths with a noble father, veteran, and person. The pleasure was all mine. May you rest in peace, Mr. Feeney.

Today in an effort to pay my respects to this stand-up guy, I visited his calling hours. It was here where I began to think that had mom not gone to the doctor when she did, this funeral could have been paired with hers. I quickly shook the thought because it is a bit ridiculous to think about what would or could have happened. It seems most important to concentrate on what did happen and focus on all of the positive feedback she receives from the doctors each week.

This summer I learned a very basic lesson—people are not invincible. I realize this seems like rather pathetic message to just be learning at age twenty two but really, most people don’t realize that at some point their time will run out. I learned not to take time for granted. I loved seeing Colin. And I love my mom. And there are a million and ten things I want to do, accomplish, see, feel and know before I pass.

Leaving the funeral home today I almost felt invigorated—like, I needed to go and do something that is on my Bucket List (which is a great movie, by the way).

Prior to the calling hours mom and I had been arguing and when I came home, I gave up the “I am right” stance and decided to relish in the fact that my mother is happy, radiant and alive. So what if I accidentally ran our cell phone bill up with ring-back tone charges, money is not everything!? (Although if you must know, I do not think she has forgotten about the bill… thankfully we are no longer feuding.)

The moral of the story is, you get one life to live so it may as well be spent happy! It is with great appreciation that I say, Thank You, Colin, for teaching me yet another lesson—even when you aren’t physically here, you are still touching my life. That is pretty impressive.

Faith

Today I met a woman who lost her 2 year old child to Cancer. And although our meeting was brief, she radiated happiness. It was easy to see her laughter was genuine; not the least bit forced. And the reason for her optimism was extremely apparent in her modest hospital office: faith. On her desk sat a quote from arguably one the most influential women of all time, Mother Teresa. The decorative plaque read, "I know God won't give me anything I can't handle. I just wish He didn't trust me so much."

Like I said, meeting this woman was brief but even after I went home from work, I kept thinking about her. How difficult it must be to lose a child so young. Sometimes I feel bad for myself, like, whoa is me- my mom has Cancer. But today I realized that although Cancer may feel like something only my family is experiencing, people everyday all over the world encounter the very same disease. And some people, like the woman I met today, aren't lucky enough to win the battle. Yet, there she was, happy.

It is through this woman that I learned how faith is more than just a feeling but rather the belief , a belief in God and his plan. 'Happy Lady' (so sorry, but I don't want to drop names) taught me something in roughly 15 minutes that I THOUGHT I already knew: how to have faith. Thank you, 'Happy Lady,' you have touched me deeper than you'll ever know. Even though our plans and God's might not always line up, ya gotta learn to roll with the punches and keep on believing.

Speaking of happy, mom's CA 125 numbers have dropped AGAIN!!! She is officially sporting a single digit number (bear in mind anything below 30 is excellent, but the doctors are shooting for a number near zero to prevent a relapse.) A CT scan is scheduled as well to ensure they aren't missing anything.

In a nut shell, today was awesome...

Search & Rescue

Today my CioCia Gerry invited mom over for lunch. [CioCia means Aunt in Polish.] At noon CioCia and mom headed out to Olive Garden for a relaxing lunch on a hot afternoon. Interestingly enough, this is one of the few times mom has driven anywhere in the past few months, with the exception of 2 days ago when she ran into the garage courtesy of what call "chemo-haze." Chemo-haze can also be confused for air headedness, ditziness or pure ridiculousness as a result of too many chemicals in the body. Therefore, we were a bit nervous about sending mom on a 20 minute drive alone for lunch. But she is a big girl, so we let her.

At 1:41PM mom text dad, "leaving now, headed home." So when 4PM rolls around and mom is still not home, we begin to panic. Dad calls her phone. No answer. He texts her, still no response. This pattern carries on until nearly 5PM.

We try to think of all the logical reasons she might be taking so long: she saw someone she knows while exiting the restaurant, she stopped at the grocery store to grab a few things, or maybe ran up to Grandma's for visit since she was on her side of town.

Out of fear dad and I begin phoning a few relatives to see if they have heard from her. We call Grandpa, he says he doesn't know where she is but insists we call Grandma on her cell. So we dial up Grandma, who is at work and has no clue where mom might be but instantly grows fearful of the worst. We ring CioCia Gerry who said not to worry; she probably just stopped off at a store.

However, not worrying was not an option. By this point dad may as well have dialed up the milk carton factory and inserted a missing person add with Sue Chase's face on it. To say he was distraught would be the understatement of the century. If you saw helicopters flying overhead it was in an effort to find mom. Okay, I am totally lying about the helicopters. But seriously, Grandma was on the brink of calling all of the local Emergency Rooms.

Dad was just about to send Zach and I out on a search and rescue mission when we heard the car door shut in the garage. Out steps mom, smiling ear to ear, completely oblivious to the 20-some missed calls, 13 voice mails, and at least 12 text messages she had on her phone, which was left in the car during all of the visiting. Come to find out mom did NOT drive the car off the road and into a telephone pole as a result of chemo-haze; rather she stopped over to visit her dear friend, Kathy, and was enjoying iced tea and a delightful conversation on a hot summer's day.