This week has been busy: planning Zach's graduation party, I started working, and we've been preparing for mom to tackle another round of chemo beginning on Wednesday.
Last night a vegetarian's nightmare came true at our house as we hosted a meatball rolling party. The evening was full of family, laughs and a little bit of wine. Aunt Patty, Aunt Michelle, Scott, Kian, Aunt Melissa, Grandma and Grandpa Pakela were all apart of the festivities. 20 pounds of meatballs and about 3 hours later, the very large task was complete. The meatballs are now being frozen until the big grad party. It was so nice of everyone to come over and pitch in because while mom is feeling better, it would take Super Woman and her side kick (does Super Woman have a side kick?) to roll 20 pounds of meat on her own. That is practically an entire cow. Ew.
Today mom and dad bought a new grill, where they ran into an old family friend at Home Depot. Mom said it was great to see her and appreciated her huge hug as well as her prayers. It was great to see mom up and about. I know I keep saying that, but really, it is wonderful to see her trucking around the house!
But,I have to go to the store now because while mom and dad were at Home Depot, I was supposed to have put the thawing hamburger in the fridge... well, three hours later mom and dad came home and the meat was still set out. Needless to say, the meat has gone bad and everyone is raging at me!!! I guess they really want to try out this new grill... Anyways, enjoy the weekend!!
...disclaimer...
...disclaimer...
what you are about to enjoy is extreme emotion. whether that emotion is joy, sadness, hope, weakness, strength, disappointment or elation, know that everything you read here is true. please feel free to post your thoughts :) they are much appreciated!
help me help fight Cancer one word at a time,
Danielle
Friday, June 11, 2010
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Secrets
Most importantly, everyone should know that today my mom had an awesome day. She spent her morning and afternoon as though she were a "regular" summer vacation victim: enjoying the day, snacking on fresh fruit and strolling a few laps up and down the street. And it was an honest relief to see her shuffling around the house, picking up after us. Although we do know that this surge of normalcy is only temporary (as far as the summer is concerned), it's still refreshing.
Now, not to be a Debby Downer but to be completely, fully and brutally honest, seeing mom on good days (like today) has tarnished some of my fears. While I want to paint a very POSITIVE picture about our experience with Cancer, I also want to let it all hang out. I want to be absolutely truthful. You know, like when people ask if I dye my hair platinum blonde or if it is natural?! I want to scream, "HELLO PEOPLE, LOOK AT THESE ROOTS!!! OF COURSE IT IS FAKE!" Yeah, I want to be THAT honest.
So here it goes. My personal diatribe about how scary Cancer can be; almost as scary as my not so blonde roots like to grow in. Have you ever been sucker punched? Right in the gut? Well, I hope not. But finding out my mom, my very YOUNG, HEALTHY mom was diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer, a Cancer with a 30% survival rate was just like being sucker punched by Mr.T.
My dad told me. It was the first time I have ever seen my dad show any extreme emotion. Here was this strong man, both in stature and emotions, weeping in front of me. And for a brief moment, I felt the world around me stop spinning. I was confused, I was angry and I was upset. What did we do to deserve this? was all I could think. I let my mind wander and started thinking about how awful it would be to have holidays, graduations, weddings and babies without her there. And I couldn't stop crying. I was furious. But with whom?
And after a lot of sleepless nights and random crying fits, I decided that it was time to stop feeling sorry for myself and for my family and put up my dukes, time to start fighting back. I realized fighting, in a figurative sense, was a lot easier when I didn't have tears in my eyes. Here's the thing: Cancer is aggravating. But like most things that agitate, it CAN be fixed with the right kind of help. And that is where I am at now. We have the best doctor in the country. Mom has a positive attitude. We have each other. And we have a faith in God more potent and proliferating than the BP oil spill.
So yah, Cancer is terribly frustrating but it is totally beatable too... so really, there is no longer a purpose to be sad or scared. She is going to beat this. She is going to see every holiday, graduation, wedding and grand baby for the next 60+ years. She WILL BE THERE.
Now, not to be a Debby Downer but to be completely, fully and brutally honest, seeing mom on good days (like today) has tarnished some of my fears. While I want to paint a very POSITIVE picture about our experience with Cancer, I also want to let it all hang out. I want to be absolutely truthful. You know, like when people ask if I dye my hair platinum blonde or if it is natural?! I want to scream, "HELLO PEOPLE, LOOK AT THESE ROOTS!!! OF COURSE IT IS FAKE!" Yeah, I want to be THAT honest.
So here it goes. My personal diatribe about how scary Cancer can be; almost as scary as my not so blonde roots like to grow in. Have you ever been sucker punched? Right in the gut? Well, I hope not. But finding out my mom, my very YOUNG, HEALTHY mom was diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer, a Cancer with a 30% survival rate was just like being sucker punched by Mr.T.
My dad told me. It was the first time I have ever seen my dad show any extreme emotion. Here was this strong man, both in stature and emotions, weeping in front of me. And for a brief moment, I felt the world around me stop spinning. I was confused, I was angry and I was upset. What did we do to deserve this? was all I could think. I let my mind wander and started thinking about how awful it would be to have holidays, graduations, weddings and babies without her there. And I couldn't stop crying. I was furious. But with whom?
And after a lot of sleepless nights and random crying fits, I decided that it was time to stop feeling sorry for myself and for my family and put up my dukes, time to start fighting back. I realized fighting, in a figurative sense, was a lot easier when I didn't have tears in my eyes. Here's the thing: Cancer is aggravating. But like most things that agitate, it CAN be fixed with the right kind of help. And that is where I am at now. We have the best doctor in the country. Mom has a positive attitude. We have each other. And we have a faith in God more potent and proliferating than the BP oil spill.
So yah, Cancer is terribly frustrating but it is totally beatable too... so really, there is no longer a purpose to be sad or scared. She is going to beat this. She is going to see every holiday, graduation, wedding and grand baby for the next 60+ years. She WILL BE THERE.
Monday, June 7, 2010
Friendly Faces
My mom, the beautiful woman that she is, has never been responsible for a car accident until today. Okay, scratch that-- an ALMOST car accident.
This evening I drove mom out to visit her hip-hop class. And apparently, these ladies miss her just as much as she is missing them. In fact, they miss mom so much that at the first sight of her, Mrs. S whipped her 4x4 truck into park and hopped out before even pulling into a parking spot. This later caused extreme parking lot confusion and congestion, until some of the other woman realized what the commotion was about and followed suit. Several haphazardly parked cars later and what seemed like hundreds of hugs, mom and her friends spent some time visiting!
Their friendly faces and unique park jobs were more than enough to fill that little void in her heart that once was filled by her workout friends. It is only a matter of time until she is back to class, be-bopping with her fellow hip-hop class friends.
I just want to thank them for their support, thoughts, prayers and gifts. I know my mom appreciates every kind gesture too!
This evening I drove mom out to visit her hip-hop class. And apparently, these ladies miss her just as much as she is missing them. In fact, they miss mom so much that at the first sight of her, Mrs. S whipped her 4x4 truck into park and hopped out before even pulling into a parking spot. This later caused extreme parking lot confusion and congestion, until some of the other woman realized what the commotion was about and followed suit. Several haphazardly parked cars later and what seemed like hundreds of hugs, mom and her friends spent some time visiting!
Their friendly faces and unique park jobs were more than enough to fill that little void in her heart that once was filled by her workout friends. It is only a matter of time until she is back to class, be-bopping with her fellow hip-hop class friends.
I just want to thank them for their support, thoughts, prayers and gifts. I know my mom appreciates every kind gesture too!
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Locked Out
When it rains it pours, literally and figuratively. In the literal sense, the weather here was extremely dreary. In a figurative sense, two of our four cars had to pay a visit to the shop (but they are running great now) and then the garage door opener decided to stop working.
Now the bit about the garage door opener not working would not be a big deal... had we been INSIDE the house; however, naturally we were outside the house. Today Aunt Michelle made us a delicious dinner, so we paid her, Scott and Kian a visit. Unfortunately, Zach left the house after we did and obviously missed the memo about NOT shutting the garage door.
So there we were, sitting in our driveway in the drizzling rain contemplating how we were going to break into our own home. Of course, not ONE of the five of us owns a house key (because in our neighborhood it is not necessary). But as we scoured the premises looking for a way in our dog was barking like Big Foot was attacking him. Patio doors- locked. Dog began salivating like a maniac. Deck doors- locked. Dog started hopping up and down, barking incessantly. Front door- locked. Sidney is running in circles (it almost looked like he was chasing his tail). Windows- locked. Dog begins to howl like a wolf.
Finally, dad decided that he was just going to blast through the man door in the garage. And he did just that. Thank goodness, because otherwise we might still be outside our house looking like vagabonds.
It is never a dull moment around here... but we are just happy that mom is feeling great today and was able to enjoy the delicious dinner Aunt Michelle made as well as the show in our driveway.
Now the bit about the garage door opener not working would not be a big deal... had we been INSIDE the house; however, naturally we were outside the house. Today Aunt Michelle made us a delicious dinner, so we paid her, Scott and Kian a visit. Unfortunately, Zach left the house after we did and obviously missed the memo about NOT shutting the garage door.
So there we were, sitting in our driveway in the drizzling rain contemplating how we were going to break into our own home. Of course, not ONE of the five of us owns a house key (because in our neighborhood it is not necessary). But as we scoured the premises looking for a way in our dog was barking like Big Foot was attacking him. Patio doors- locked. Dog began salivating like a maniac. Deck doors- locked. Dog started hopping up and down, barking incessantly. Front door- locked. Sidney is running in circles (it almost looked like he was chasing his tail). Windows- locked. Dog begins to howl like a wolf.
Finally, dad decided that he was just going to blast through the man door in the garage. And he did just that. Thank goodness, because otherwise we might still be outside our house looking like vagabonds.
It is never a dull moment around here... but we are just happy that mom is feeling great today and was able to enjoy the delicious dinner Aunt Michelle made as well as the show in our driveway.
Saturday, June 5, 2010
Catching Up
The solution to beating Ovarian Cancer (for my mom) goes something like this:
Week 1: chemo in IV port, found in her chest, on Wednesday
chemo in her IP port, found in her stomach, on Thursday
Week 2: chemo in her IP port, found in her stomach, on Wednesday
white blood cell shot on Thursday
Week 3 REST!
Repeat x 6 times
It has been a rough few weeks but Monday begins week 3 of round one: rest, as prescribed by mom's doctor. We are looking forward to enjoying this coming week and having her recover from all the chemo. She is already feeling better! Her appetite has finally come back and although I complained the whole way to Jade Garden to order her chicken and broccoli with white rice, I was elated to see her be able to eat! Mom being able to eat correlates into her having more energy. And her having more energy means she is able to be her spunky-self. And it is wonderful to have a taste of our "normal" life back.
However, we are settling into our "new" routine too. Dad is getting better at grocery shopping but then again we are learning to put EXACTLY what it is we want on "THE list." For example, if you were to write "fruit," he will return with apples. Now, if you were to write "fruit," on the grocery list while mom was doing the shopping, she would return with all the variety's of fruit that are offered in the Erie County area during that season.
As far as Zach and Andrew are concerned, they are keeping the bathroom semi-clean(er) but I am still working on them to hang their towels up consistently! Hey, somebody has to do it since mom doesn't have the energy to all of the time! Now if only we could convince Sidney to stop shedding...
Week 1: chemo in IV port, found in her chest, on Wednesday
chemo in her IP port, found in her stomach, on Thursday
Week 2: chemo in her IP port, found in her stomach, on Wednesday
white blood cell shot on Thursday
Week 3 REST!
Repeat x 6 times
It has been a rough few weeks but Monday begins week 3 of round one: rest, as prescribed by mom's doctor. We are looking forward to enjoying this coming week and having her recover from all the chemo. She is already feeling better! Her appetite has finally come back and although I complained the whole way to Jade Garden to order her chicken and broccoli with white rice, I was elated to see her be able to eat! Mom being able to eat correlates into her having more energy. And her having more energy means she is able to be her spunky-self. And it is wonderful to have a taste of our "normal" life back.
However, we are settling into our "new" routine too. Dad is getting better at grocery shopping but then again we are learning to put EXACTLY what it is we want on "THE list." For example, if you were to write "fruit," he will return with apples. Now, if you were to write "fruit," on the grocery list while mom was doing the shopping, she would return with all the variety's of fruit that are offered in the Erie County area during that season.
As far as Zach and Andrew are concerned, they are keeping the bathroom semi-clean(er) but I am still working on them to hang their towels up consistently! Hey, somebody has to do it since mom doesn't have the energy to all of the time! Now if only we could convince Sidney to stop shedding...
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Graduation
When I graduated from high school Zach was in the 8th grade. He has come a long way from dwelling the hallways of junior high to receive his diploma today.
It is always exciting to watch people grow and change. And over the years Zach has slowly but surely found his footing in the young adult world; something my parents are certainly proud of. And despite yet another round of chemo in conjunction with mom's white blood cell shot she received just 4 hours prior to the graduation commencement, mom was leading Corey and myself into the auditorium looking for the perfect aisle seat in which to take a plethora of pictures from.
Kinda funny how life works, I thought to myself today. I always thought that I needed to be the one to keep strong for her; but in reality, she is the one that keeps ME strong. She strutted her way into graduation looking like a run-way model today and faced an entire community of genuinely concerned and caring people. Not only was she battling the emotions of watching her second baby walk across the stage and into the next phase of life, but also she had to face crowds of concern all the while keeping her emotions in check. And she did!
Today emotions were flying high. And kudos to my mama for continuing to be our family's rock, even though everyone would understand if she fell apart. But then again, she's not that kind of gal. She is tough.
P.S. Congratulations, Zachary! I am extremely proud of you. And I can't wait to see what the next chapter of your life brings!
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Creative Cards
Today one of my mom's colleagues brought over several cards made for her by students. What a nice gesture, I thought. Little did I know, not only were they sending their best wishes but also side splitting laughs. Care to know why?
Exhibit A: I hope kemotherapy went well.
Exhibit B: Mrs. Chase, I hope your cancer dies. Good luck. (Complete with a drawing of a chemo "ray" striking a diagram of cancer.)
Exhibit C: You show that cancer who's boss!!!
Exhibit D: You're an awesome teacher/person. Just another crack in the sidewalk of life, Mrs. Chase.
Exhibit E: Cancer sucks. Get better soon.
Kids just have a way with words, eh?! Not only did their endearing positive thoughts touch my mom's heart, but their unintentional humor was helpful too. And what a good time for her to laugh; tomorrow she heads back to Pittsburgh for even more chemo therapy.
Another bright spot today was that mom and I got to babysit the newest addition to our family, her nephew and my cousin, four month old Kian. Nothing like a toothless grin to keep anybody's spirits up!
Between the very original cards and the lil' guy, today was full of smiles, both of the toothless and tooth-full assortment.
Exhibit A: I hope kemotherapy went well.
Exhibit B: Mrs. Chase, I hope your cancer dies. Good luck. (Complete with a drawing of a chemo "ray" striking a diagram of cancer.)
Exhibit C: You show that cancer who's boss!!!
Exhibit D: You're an awesome teacher/person. Just another crack in the sidewalk of life, Mrs. Chase.
Exhibit E: Cancer sucks. Get better soon.
Kids just have a way with words, eh?! Not only did their endearing positive thoughts touch my mom's heart, but their unintentional humor was helpful too. And what a good time for her to laugh; tomorrow she heads back to Pittsburgh for even more chemo therapy.
Another bright spot today was that mom and I got to babysit the newest addition to our family, her nephew and my cousin, four month old Kian. Nothing like a toothless grin to keep anybody's spirits up!
Between the very original cards and the lil' guy, today was full of smiles, both of the toothless and tooth-full assortment.
Monday, May 31, 2010
Lil' Bit Of Everything
I didn't blog yesterday because there was not much to report. Well there was plenty to say really, but I did not create this blog to drone on and on about the really tough stuff. In a nut shell, mom spent the day in bed recovering from a very aggressive chemo treatment. Albeit the chemo treatment was 5 days ago, she is still feeling its effects.
But enough of that! Here's the good news: SHE IS FEELING BETTER TODAY! Being Memorial Day, we hosted a small family party. Thankfully, between Dad, Zach, Grandma and myself, we managed to get the house and all of the food ready simultaneously. Mom was able to snack on some of the lighter foods featured at today's get together, which was exciting after 5 days of a liquid diet. She admitted to me today that she does not want to drink tea or Gatorade of ANY color again! However, favorite of mom's was Aunt Michelle's jello-cake creation... delicious and semi-healthy, can't beat that! The afternoon was spent shooting the breeze and indulging in homemade food. Although mom is certainly not feeling like herself, it was nice to see her up and out of bed, feeling better!
Chemo, for those of you lucky enough to have never seen its effects, is a terrible and wonderful thing all at once. While it is knocking out all of the bad stuff, it is taking a lot of her spunk (temporarily) too. Mom has remained positive, even though she has been feeling pretty terrible lately. She giggles when she says that she has reached her "wedding weight," although this was certainly not an eating plan anyone intends to follow?!
Finally, I need to say that my dad is absolutely awesome. This guy is STILL running around, keeping up with everything and everyone but most importantly helping my mom through all of her aches, pains and sleepless nights. My parents may not be "perfect" ('cause nobody is) but they are perfect for each other. Their love and friendship only seems to get stronger each day and it is breath taking. Going through Cancer is no easy feat but these two make it look natural...
But enough of that! Here's the good news: SHE IS FEELING BETTER TODAY! Being Memorial Day, we hosted a small family party. Thankfully, between Dad, Zach, Grandma and myself, we managed to get the house and all of the food ready simultaneously. Mom was able to snack on some of the lighter foods featured at today's get together, which was exciting after 5 days of a liquid diet. She admitted to me today that she does not want to drink tea or Gatorade of ANY color again! However, favorite of mom's was Aunt Michelle's jello-cake creation... delicious and semi-healthy, can't beat that! The afternoon was spent shooting the breeze and indulging in homemade food. Although mom is certainly not feeling like herself, it was nice to see her up and out of bed, feeling better!
Chemo, for those of you lucky enough to have never seen its effects, is a terrible and wonderful thing all at once. While it is knocking out all of the bad stuff, it is taking a lot of her spunk (temporarily) too. Mom has remained positive, even though she has been feeling pretty terrible lately. She giggles when she says that she has reached her "wedding weight," although this was certainly not an eating plan anyone intends to follow?!
Finally, I need to say that my dad is absolutely awesome. This guy is STILL running around, keeping up with everything and everyone but most importantly helping my mom through all of her aches, pains and sleepless nights. My parents may not be "perfect" ('cause nobody is) but they are perfect for each other. Their love and friendship only seems to get stronger each day and it is breath taking. Going through Cancer is no easy feat but these two make it look natural...
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Flowers
FLOWER
flow-er [flou-er]
-noun
1. The blossom of a plant
2. Botany
3. State of bloom
Synonyms: develop, flourish
...My mom LOVES gerbera daisies. So with Memorial Day right around the corner and the planting season at its peak, I was summoned to Stan's Garden Center to pick out a few flowers. Aunt Michelle, Uncle Scott and Kian came with me to pick out just the right gerbera daisies.
After making our purchase, I did the honors of replanting the flowers in the back deck's garden box. Thankfully, there were no worms. Mom, although not allowed to bask in the hot sun, was able to join me on the shaded area of the deck and warm up her aching joints. We also received some beautiful gerbera daises from a few band parents. Those daises adorn our kitchen table. Everyone has been so thoughtful and giving, it is nice to know that people can be so benevolent.
Mom is still on a liquid diet due to the type of chemo she received. Unfortunately, she is very weak because of this and I had to open her Gatorade (not of the yellow variety). It is so strange to see her weak but thankfully she is only physically weak. Her spirits and mind are certainly valiant :) She is flowering into a better, stronger person every day despite the trials and tribulations of fighting off Cancer.
Friday, May 28, 2010
Stylin' Scarves
With the temperatures sizzling near the mid-80's, mom has decided to sport several of her stylish, colorful scarves in place of her wig. While the wig is astonishingly similar to her real hair, it is far too warm to include as apart of today's attire. Also, because the chemo is making her so drowsy, there is no reason mess up the wig while resting on the couch!
At the Look Good, Feel Better class we learned several ways to tie scarves... well this morning, I did the honors of tying a lovely turquoise scarf to coordinate with her outfit; yes, she is wearing an "outfit," and not just a t-shirt and sweats! It is crazy all of the different ways you can tie a scarf and it is even more amazing how difficult I made it! My main fear was to make her look like a member of the Taliban, but thankfully she looks like a sweet, loving mom wearing a nice scarf.
You would think that when a woman loses her hair she would not be as beautiful. What with all of our messed up societal beauty standards. But seeing my mom today, and every other day puts all of those standards to shame. She is the most beautiful woman I have ever seen-- scarf or not, hair or not. And thank goodness for her God-given beauty because I am certainly not a certified scarf tier.
At the Look Good, Feel Better class we learned several ways to tie scarves... well this morning, I did the honors of tying a lovely turquoise scarf to coordinate with her outfit; yes, she is wearing an "outfit," and not just a t-shirt and sweats! It is crazy all of the different ways you can tie a scarf and it is even more amazing how difficult I made it! My main fear was to make her look like a member of the Taliban, but thankfully she looks like a sweet, loving mom wearing a nice scarf.
You would think that when a woman loses her hair she would not be as beautiful. What with all of our messed up societal beauty standards. But seeing my mom today, and every other day puts all of those standards to shame. She is the most beautiful woman I have ever seen-- scarf or not, hair or not. And thank goodness for her God-given beauty because I am certainly not a certified scarf tier.
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Chemo
Another morning came and went, again I must thank Zach for his getting up and willing Andrew out of insomniac mode; I did not manage to do so. Today would have been a terrible day for them to miss; it was Zach's LAST DAY OF HIGH SCHOOL! A week from today he will be accepting his diploma and moving onto the next phase of his life. So strange to think I can remember his first day of Kindergarten. He did not want to go, but when he got home he informed us that it was, "dood." That translates into good.
Turning off memory lane and onto reality drive, mom and dad made it home from chemo today. (Dad requests that the speed limit be changed from 55-65 on I-79 to somewhere around 150+ so that he can get to and from the 'Burgh quickly. Oh, and Penn Dot construction is taking over the entire highway, which is entirely annoying.) Anyways, I hate chemo. It just makes her so sleepy along with many other uncomfortable things. It is so strange to see my mom lying on the couch; this is something she never used to do. Normally she is zipping around the house, running to the store, or headed to an ice rink to watch the boys play hockey. Resting is important but even so, chemo really does suck just about everything out of her: good, bad and otherwise.
However, it is much easier watching her go through chemo when we know that it is in fact working!!! Now we just have to get dad to pick up the right color of Gatorade to ease her through the next few days of liquid dieting. We instructed him to get any color BUT yellow yet somehow he came home WITH yellow Gatorade?! Perhaps he is color blind.
Other than that, nothing interesting is going on around here! Enjoy the rest of this beautiful day!
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
An Unconventional Morning
Ahhh, mornings in the Chase household- they never cease to be normal or uneventful. With mom and dad en route to Pittsburgh for chemo treatments this morning at 6AM, I was left in charge to get Zach and Andrew out the door on time for school. One might assume this is an easy task, but that means you've never witnessed a Chase waking up.
I set my alarm for 6:45AM last night, hoping that this would give me plenty of time to wake myself up and then more importantly, get the boys out of their nocturnal bliss and headed towards school ON TIME. Some how though, I did not hear 'I Go Back' by Kenny Chesney blaring at high decibels from my cell phone at 6:45AM, 6:50AM, 6:55AM, 7AM, or 7:05AM. Never good. Nor did I manage to roll myself out of my oh-so-comfy bed and into drill sargent mode. Also not good. Ya gotta give me a break; I was still at the peak of REM sleep at 6:45AM!!!
Thankfully Zach woke up to his alarm. This left him with the task of removing Andrew from his bed. And yes, removing is a completely accurate description of the enterprise. While I may not have actually helped in getting Andrew off to school today, I have done so before and let me tell you, it is practically a full time job that should pay hourly wages with benefits. This boy could have slept through the Hiroshima bombings completely undisturbed. Zach deserves a trophy for his efforts this morning because not only did he wake up on time and get Andrew out of bed but he also managed to get to school BEFORE the late bell. I think the three of us have a new found respect for my parent's efforts in getting us places on time.
Speaking of parents, mom and dad did make it to the hospital (on time, compliments of dad's very, ah, efficient driving) and mom has began her chemo treatments for today.
When she was initially informed that Cancer was shacking up in her ovaries, her CA125 blood levels were hovering in the 830's. Post surgery (i.e. full hysterectomy plus removal of spleen, some of the liver and various other parts) mom's CA125 levels dropped to 475. On Monday, Patty (in-home, Mrs. Clause-look-a-like nurse) withdrew blood to be tested for the latest CA125 levels. Mom is currently boasting a 134 CA125 blood level; a normal CA125 level is 35. Needless to say, we are elated to see that mom's CA125 levels are plummeting with reckless abandon! Also in good news, she is NOT having an allergic reaction to the chemo this time around. Last time she experienced a spiked fever and turned red.
Other than that, today the boys and I are looking forward to the mac n' cheese that Mrs. M is bringing over for dinner. She rocks!!! And so does her mac n' cheese!!! Thank goodness I do not have to cook; I pity whoever has to sample my attempts to be Betty Crocker...
I set my alarm for 6:45AM last night, hoping that this would give me plenty of time to wake myself up and then more importantly, get the boys out of their nocturnal bliss and headed towards school ON TIME. Some how though, I did not hear 'I Go Back' by Kenny Chesney blaring at high decibels from my cell phone at 6:45AM, 6:50AM, 6:55AM, 7AM, or 7:05AM. Never good. Nor did I manage to roll myself out of my oh-so-comfy bed and into drill sargent mode. Also not good. Ya gotta give me a break; I was still at the peak of REM sleep at 6:45AM!!!
Thankfully Zach woke up to his alarm. This left him with the task of removing Andrew from his bed. And yes, removing is a completely accurate description of the enterprise. While I may not have actually helped in getting Andrew off to school today, I have done so before and let me tell you, it is practically a full time job that should pay hourly wages with benefits. This boy could have slept through the Hiroshima bombings completely undisturbed. Zach deserves a trophy for his efforts this morning because not only did he wake up on time and get Andrew out of bed but he also managed to get to school BEFORE the late bell. I think the three of us have a new found respect for my parent's efforts in getting us places on time.
Speaking of parents, mom and dad did make it to the hospital (on time, compliments of dad's very, ah, efficient driving) and mom has began her chemo treatments for today.
When she was initially informed that Cancer was shacking up in her ovaries, her CA125 blood levels were hovering in the 830's. Post surgery (i.e. full hysterectomy plus removal of spleen, some of the liver and various other parts) mom's CA125 levels dropped to 475. On Monday, Patty (in-home, Mrs. Clause-look-a-like nurse) withdrew blood to be tested for the latest CA125 levels. Mom is currently boasting a 134 CA125 blood level; a normal CA125 level is 35. Needless to say, we are elated to see that mom's CA125 levels are plummeting with reckless abandon! Also in good news, she is NOT having an allergic reaction to the chemo this time around. Last time she experienced a spiked fever and turned red.
Other than that, today the boys and I are looking forward to the mac n' cheese that Mrs. M is bringing over for dinner. She rocks!!! And so does her mac n' cheese!!! Thank goodness I do not have to cook; I pity whoever has to sample my attempts to be Betty Crocker...
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Typical Tuesday
I am fully aware that I have been slacking on the blogging the past few days. However, I am happy to report that our lives have been perfectly normal; therefore, I have nothing all that interesting to write!
With the weather FINALLY make a turn for the better; we have been enjoying the sun (in small doses since mom isn't really supposed to be catching rays, having chemo and all).
The latest news here is that tomorrow mom and dad will head down to Pittsburgh for two rounds of chemo treatments. One is scheduled for Wednesday at 9AM and then another for Thursday at 7AM. Both treatments will be 4 hours long; she is currently uploading her iPod with relaxing and meditative tunes (some of which have been downloaded by dad; it is his newest obsession). In fact, I would just like to say that he has been glued to the computer uploading every song known to mankind the past few days. This is what happens when the Pens get knocked out of the run for the Stanley Cup!
I am certain there will be plenty of comical stories spurring from Zach, Andrew and I holding down the fort while mom and dad are in Pittsburgh. Stay tuned, I will be sure to get back on a blogging spree!
With the weather FINALLY make a turn for the better; we have been enjoying the sun (in small doses since mom isn't really supposed to be catching rays, having chemo and all).
The latest news here is that tomorrow mom and dad will head down to Pittsburgh for two rounds of chemo treatments. One is scheduled for Wednesday at 9AM and then another for Thursday at 7AM. Both treatments will be 4 hours long; she is currently uploading her iPod with relaxing and meditative tunes (some of which have been downloaded by dad; it is his newest obsession). In fact, I would just like to say that he has been glued to the computer uploading every song known to mankind the past few days. This is what happens when the Pens get knocked out of the run for the Stanley Cup!
I am certain there will be plenty of comical stories spurring from Zach, Andrew and I holding down the fort while mom and dad are in Pittsburgh. Stay tuned, I will be sure to get back on a blogging spree!
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Bald is Beautiful
Wow. I hope that I can generate the words to do today justice.
First, let me tell you how much my brothers love their hair. Okay-- yeah, love is an understatement. These two have long golden (Zach) and chocolate brown (Andrew), plush mane's which are a true compliment to their laid-back, hockey player style. Their hair, on no occasion is to be touched without gaining permission first... Do you get the picture?! They LOVE their hair.
Well today, both Zach and Andrew buzzed off their precious, perfectly messy, long locks of hair to show their support for my mom. I have never seen something so selfless; I was literally moved to tears, it touched me that deeply. To see two very YOUNG and sometimes selfish (sorry boys, but its true... love you!) teenagers abandon their "signature" hair to demonstrate their steadfast support for our mother as she loses her hair, was the most endearing thing I have ever witnessed in my twenty two years of being.
While Zach and Andrew were taking clippers to their hair, so was my Uncle Scott (more on him in hot second) and my mom. Today I buzzed off what was left of her hair. With more than a few tears streaming from my eyes, I managed to finish the task. I have to admit I felt silly for crying when my mom barely had wet eyes. It is here where I must confess that I watched my mother, the woman whom I have idolized my entire life and thought, holy crap; if I can be HALF as strong as she is, HALF as determined, OR have HALF the amount of faith in God that she does, I will be a wonderful person- but she? She is AMAZING. Today I watched my hero lose the last of her beautiful hair (hey, where do you think the boys got theirs from?!). And while it fell to the kitchen floor, she kept her head up and smile on her face. This is just one more reason I KNOW that Cancer has not found a long term home with Susan Chase.
In the midst of my epiphany, I looked across the kitchen where my dear Uncle Scott was buzzing his head too... and I immediately let out a gut wrenching chuckle. He not only has a misshapen head, but he had (at the time, it is fixed now) patches of hair still on his newly shaven bald head, compliments of Aunt Michelle and her hair expert styling. Kian, Michelle and Scott's 3 month old, cried when we saw his father's very bald head! We then discussed how many times Scott may have been dropped on his head as child, being that his head was rather, well, not round?!
It was with Scott and Michelle's comic relief paired with Zach and Andrew's hair-hacking support, that helped me (and I am SURE my mom as well) through the final clippings.
From here we have to be positive. No hair means the chemo is working. Working chemo equivocates to NO Cancer. No Cancer equals remission. That means this time next year, mom will have her award-winning hair back, but more importantly she will be through this bump in the road and on to doing something else that amazes me!
P.S. During all this hair clipping Sidney hid and my dad was front row and center being a wonderful supporter as well :)
First, let me tell you how much my brothers love their hair. Okay-- yeah, love is an understatement. These two have long golden (Zach) and chocolate brown (Andrew), plush mane's which are a true compliment to their laid-back, hockey player style. Their hair, on no occasion is to be touched without gaining permission first... Do you get the picture?! They LOVE their hair.
Well today, both Zach and Andrew buzzed off their precious, perfectly messy, long locks of hair to show their support for my mom. I have never seen something so selfless; I was literally moved to tears, it touched me that deeply. To see two very YOUNG and sometimes selfish (sorry boys, but its true... love you!) teenagers abandon their "signature" hair to demonstrate their steadfast support for our mother as she loses her hair, was the most endearing thing I have ever witnessed in my twenty two years of being.
While Zach and Andrew were taking clippers to their hair, so was my Uncle Scott (more on him in hot second) and my mom. Today I buzzed off what was left of her hair. With more than a few tears streaming from my eyes, I managed to finish the task. I have to admit I felt silly for crying when my mom barely had wet eyes. It is here where I must confess that I watched my mother, the woman whom I have idolized my entire life and thought, holy crap; if I can be HALF as strong as she is, HALF as determined, OR have HALF the amount of faith in God that she does, I will be a wonderful person- but she? She is AMAZING. Today I watched my hero lose the last of her beautiful hair (hey, where do you think the boys got theirs from?!). And while it fell to the kitchen floor, she kept her head up and smile on her face. This is just one more reason I KNOW that Cancer has not found a long term home with Susan Chase.
In the midst of my epiphany, I looked across the kitchen where my dear Uncle Scott was buzzing his head too... and I immediately let out a gut wrenching chuckle. He not only has a misshapen head, but he had (at the time, it is fixed now) patches of hair still on his newly shaven bald head, compliments of Aunt Michelle and her hair expert styling. Kian, Michelle and Scott's 3 month old, cried when we saw his father's very bald head! We then discussed how many times Scott may have been dropped on his head as child, being that his head was rather, well, not round?!
It was with Scott and Michelle's comic relief paired with Zach and Andrew's hair-hacking support, that helped me (and I am SURE my mom as well) through the final clippings.
From here we have to be positive. No hair means the chemo is working. Working chemo equivocates to NO Cancer. No Cancer equals remission. That means this time next year, mom will have her award-winning hair back, but more importantly she will be through this bump in the road and on to doing something else that amazes me!
P.S. During all this hair clipping Sidney hid and my dad was front row and center being a wonderful supporter as well :)
Friday, May 21, 2010
Grateful for Grandma (and Grandpa)
The thing about Cancer is it is beatable. You see there are several very important components to defeating Cancer:
1.) a great doctor
2.) a positive attitude / faith
and 3). an extremely strong support system.
Lucky for us, we have all three. All of that being said, I want to expand upon component number three and shed the spot light on a woman who is MORE than deserving of a day at the spa for her unyielding support. Enter Grandma Cammy. This woman beat Cancer, Breast Cancer to be exact, so she is more than helpful in the regard that, hey, she's actually experienced Cancer first hand.
But the reason I am talking about Grandma is not to tell you how she is a Cancer survivor. Rather, I want to give this lady kudos because it is the least I can do! She is here every day with exception of Tuesdays and Thursdays. She helps do the laundry (might I add that she folds laundry like a department store executive), the dishes and any other miscellaneous household jobs. She makes us lunch, as well as helps start dinner and then, after all of the help she provides here, she goes home and takes care of her own household!
Grandma Cammy, cane and all, is here by 10AM with a smile on her face. Her only complaint is that we do not have "full of fat creamer" for her coffee. Her vivacious spirit is one of the many reasons that my mom is always smiling. Without Grandma, our days would certainly be far less entertaining and not nearly as joyful.
And while we are on the topic of Pakela's, I want to say that Grandpa is pretty stellar too. His visits are always full of laughter and he is constantly bringing my mom beautiful flowers to enjoy. (Thank goodness mom's gardening skills have improved through this whole bit.)
A strong support system helps, but dang, ours is rock solid.
Thank you, Grandma and Grandpa, from the bottom of my heart.
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Protective Pup
Sidney, our adorable dog, is joining us in experiencing the trek through defeating Cancer. We all noticed that he is exceptionally attentive to my mom the past few weeks, following her through the house, watching over her as she sleeps; he knows something is going on. However, last night was the icing on the cake.
It was about 10 o'clock. Every night mom and I lie in her bed and read for about an hour. I was busy reading my latest pick from Barnes and Noble, while she too was enjoying her new book.
It is here where I must side track a bit... as most people know, chemo patients lose their hair. My mom, Harbor Creek High School's Class of 1983 Best Hair winner, is slowly losing her award winning locks. (We try to stay positive about this, the fact that it is falling out is a good thing in my eyes. It means the chemo is working, killing all the bad stuff too!) Anyways, obviously she is not going to be walking around bald, so as I've previously mentioned, she got a wig and had it styled to look just like her real hair.
Well the wig has a stand. And the stand is on the dresser in my mom and dad's room. And Sidney spotted the wig, which sent him into crazy-protective-dog-mode, barking and growling as though Michael Myer's had just stepped into our house.
So mom try's to "introduce" Sidney to the wig. Yeah, he was not having any of that either. In fact, he sprinted out of the room to hide. Finally, once he found it within himself to sneak back into the room, he kept one eye on the wig and one eye on my mom!
I never thought that our dog would take notice to such a sensitive matter. Yet, there he was, freaking out about my mom's wig! ha! I guess dog's really are, "a (wo)man's best friend!"
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Tai Chi
I apologize in advance for any one who does Tai Chi; please do not take offense to my laughter at its expense. Clearly, I am immature ;)
Today, three generations of women (Grandma Cammy, mom, and myself) spent mid-morning delving into the practice of Tai Chi. A gift from one of my mom's friends (who might I add, did worn us that this particular DVD was rather... ehm... unique), Tai Chi at Sunset was more of a gift of laughter than relaxation.
Let's just say, Tai Chi is hard to take seriously. The man on the DVD instructs us to bust a move called, "Shoulder Shrug Shaking Zen." All the while you are supposed to have your eyes closed. Well, I peaked and found myself laughing hysterically because both mom and Grandma looked like they had been electrocuted... that or had been struck with a terrible case of hypothermia in mid-May.
I hope that none of the neighbors were peeping in our windows, should they have caught a glimpse of our ridiculous effort to attempt Tai Chi; they may have laughed themselves into cardiac arrest!
Today, three generations of women (Grandma Cammy, mom, and myself) spent mid-morning delving into the practice of Tai Chi. A gift from one of my mom's friends (who might I add, did worn us that this particular DVD was rather... ehm... unique), Tai Chi at Sunset was more of a gift of laughter than relaxation.
Let's just say, Tai Chi is hard to take seriously. The man on the DVD instructs us to bust a move called, "Shoulder Shrug Shaking Zen." All the while you are supposed to have your eyes closed. Well, I peaked and found myself laughing hysterically because both mom and Grandma looked like they had been electrocuted... that or had been struck with a terrible case of hypothermia in mid-May.
I hope that none of the neighbors were peeping in our windows, should they have caught a glimpse of our ridiculous effort to attempt Tai Chi; they may have laughed themselves into cardiac arrest!
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Cookies & Colleagues
My morning began with an assignment to get a baker's dozen of Ye Olde Sweet Shoppe cookies. I pulled on my best sweatpants and ventured out into the dreary Tuesday weather en route of some of the most delicious cookies in town. After much deliberation, I selected the cookies I would like to fill my order with and made the purchase.
The reason mom sent me to get these cookies was because a few of her work colleagues came over for a visit this afternoon. She seemed extremely happy to visit with them and catch up on all the latest events happening at school.
It is always funny to listen to teachers talk about school, because no matter what they say, you can tell how much all of them love their jobs. Considering the regular run in with an unmotivated student, parents who are never wrong, or finding notebook paper with the definition of "douche bag" on the hallway floor, teaching, for those brave enough to do it, is a border line saintly profession. This is why my mom (as well as Mrs. H, Mrs. V, and Mrs. M) are such wonderful teachers. They chose their profession based upon their passion to guide other people through the most impressionable time of their lives, despite the fact that it is not always a walk in the park to do so.
I know my mom misses teaching a lot and because of chemo-treatments, she is not expected to return until next school year. Regardless to when she does make her teaching-return, she still has such strong relationships with her students and colleagues. Hence, they come to visit her!!!
Teaching is one of many things that mom is good at; she certainly has the patience and a kind enough heart to inspire anyone to do homework. So while I know that not being able to teach has left a void in her heart these last few weeks, I am certain her students and colleagues are missing her presence just as much!
The reason mom sent me to get these cookies was because a few of her work colleagues came over for a visit this afternoon. She seemed extremely happy to visit with them and catch up on all the latest events happening at school.
It is always funny to listen to teachers talk about school, because no matter what they say, you can tell how much all of them love their jobs. Considering the regular run in with an unmotivated student, parents who are never wrong, or finding notebook paper with the definition of "douche bag" on the hallway floor, teaching, for those brave enough to do it, is a border line saintly profession. This is why my mom (as well as Mrs. H, Mrs. V, and Mrs. M) are such wonderful teachers. They chose their profession based upon their passion to guide other people through the most impressionable time of their lives, despite the fact that it is not always a walk in the park to do so.
I know my mom misses teaching a lot and because of chemo-treatments, she is not expected to return until next school year. Regardless to when she does make her teaching-return, she still has such strong relationships with her students and colleagues. Hence, they come to visit her!!!
Teaching is one of many things that mom is good at; she certainly has the patience and a kind enough heart to inspire anyone to do homework. So while I know that not being able to teach has left a void in her heart these last few weeks, I am certain her students and colleagues are missing her presence just as much!
Monday, May 17, 2010
Look Good! Feel Better!
We entered the ground floor of Hamot Hospital to attend the class Look Good, Feel Better. Grandma would like me to mention that we used Valet Parking, which was VERY convenient and the attendant loved her new Suzuki.
Look Good, Feel Better is an American Cancer Society sponsored class that teaches women going through chemo-therapy and radiation how to do just that, look good, feel better!
The class consisted of about ten participants, one of which mom knew, Lisa, a good friend from my mom's high school days. Lisa and my mom had lost touch over the years; however, due to the fact that both Lisa and my mom are beating Cancer to a pulp at the very same time, they have re-kindled their friendship.
Class began with an introduction from consultant, Patti (not to be confused with Mrs. Clause-look-a-like and in-home nurse from last Friday). She is a hot seven decades old, with beautiful skin, who was rocking a sequenced-ball cap, which Grandma fully intends to purchase at Patti's shop this coming week.
Anyways, during the introductions we learned that mom was the only student in attendance with Ovarian Cancer. The others have their war to be fought with Breast Cancer and Hodgkin's disease.
There were snacks. It was real awkward. Grandma was the only one who ate a cookie because she did not want to be rude to the chef (hahaha!!) At this point, we engaged in the details of each individual's personal fights with Cancer, which naturally caused a few a tears.
Finally, they were able to open their make-up goody bags. It was like Christmas! Products from the likes of Bobbi Brown, Mary Kay, MAC, and Clinique, to name a few, were all donated to this class! Patti showed everyone special techniques to apply their make up while under-going chemo and still look stunning!
She also showed a variety of wigs and demonstrated how to wear them so they look natural; no one wants their weave falling off in the wind! haha! Mom's FAVORITE part of class was when Patti demonstrated the various ways to sport scarves in place of hair or a wig.
As per usual, mom will be looking good despite chemo-treatments! Holler to Patti! woot woot!
... also I briefly wanted to mention that today my Grandpa Pakela brought my mom two dozen roses. The orange roses he brought are called, "Miracles." Fancy that.
Sunday, May 16, 2010
locks of love
Mom has had one of eighteen rounds of chemo. The doctor told us that her hair would begin to fall out 7-10 days after the treatment. Well, here we are 10 days later and her hair is still looking stellar!
Unfortunately, no matter how long her luscious locks hang on, they will eventually fall out. Enter wig buying. She has bought the most beautiful wig, it matches her real hair PERFECTLY, and thanks to the styling's of Carrie, there is no telling whether she is sporting her natural hair or her wonderful wig. In fact, after getting it cut and styled, she wore her fresh wig home, where we found Grandma and Grandpa Pakela (which I must get sidetracked and mention that these two have been AWESOME through this whole bit, and I need to write a blog to their credit... coming soon), Andrew and my Dad. None of them even noticed she was wearing her wig!!! We had to tell them that it was NOT her real hair! PERFECT!!
Slightly changing direction, I too visited the hair salon...
Now, I have been growing my hair for a little over two years. I mean, come on, what 22 year old girl doesn't want long flowing locks?! Plus, playing softball, it looks very feminine having a pretty pony tail! However, I decided that since my mom is going through so much, I wanted to show my support by chopping off my hair. It was my way of losing something I love and showing her, hey it is JUST hair. It does not define you!!! Needless to say, 8-10inches later, I feel very liberated!!!
Then there is Zach and Andrew... these two schmucks want to shave their heads to show their support. Which is extremely thoughtful; however, we have been trying to convince them otherwise because quite frankly, their melon heads look so much better with a bit of hair (hehe!). Perhaps we can persuade them to go with the "buzz" look, rather than stark bald! But if not, I am certain my mom will appreciate their hairless support :)
Unfortunately, no matter how long her luscious locks hang on, they will eventually fall out. Enter wig buying. She has bought the most beautiful wig, it matches her real hair PERFECTLY, and thanks to the styling's of Carrie, there is no telling whether she is sporting her natural hair or her wonderful wig. In fact, after getting it cut and styled, she wore her fresh wig home, where we found Grandma and Grandpa Pakela (which I must get sidetracked and mention that these two have been AWESOME through this whole bit, and I need to write a blog to their credit... coming soon), Andrew and my Dad. None of them even noticed she was wearing her wig!!! We had to tell them that it was NOT her real hair! PERFECT!!
Slightly changing direction, I too visited the hair salon...
Now, I have been growing my hair for a little over two years. I mean, come on, what 22 year old girl doesn't want long flowing locks?! Plus, playing softball, it looks very feminine having a pretty pony tail! However, I decided that since my mom is going through so much, I wanted to show my support by chopping off my hair. It was my way of losing something I love and showing her, hey it is JUST hair. It does not define you!!! Needless to say, 8-10inches later, I feel very liberated!!!
Then there is Zach and Andrew... these two schmucks want to shave their heads to show their support. Which is extremely thoughtful; however, we have been trying to convince them otherwise because quite frankly, their melon heads look so much better with a bit of hair (hehe!). Perhaps we can persuade them to go with the "buzz" look, rather than stark bald! But if not, I am certain my mom will appreciate their hairless support :)
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